Life goes on.

I don’t really have anything important to write about right now but I thought I would write anyways.

Starting to get my life back on track which is a good feeling. I have paid off about half my debt and I have a paycheck coming in about a week. I am thinking I will keep a bit more of this paycheck out for myself, about 10% and investing it somewhere. My money will definitely be working for me.

I am driving my mom’s winter car right now, my car wouldn’t start. So once I finish paying off my debt I need to start saving for a car so I can give hers back.

I am living with my friend and his parents, its a pretty cool setup because there is basically two living rooms so they get one and we get the other. Our living room is definitely nicer, we have two couches, two xboxs, two computers (working on getting another one up and running), two computer desks that can fit four people total, and a 48 inch high def tv, and a small crappy tv that I like to use for gaming because high def tvs lag. Most of the cool stuff belongs to my friend, all my worldly possessions are still sitting in my hometown 300 miles away. My laptop is here though so I am happy.

I guess everything is just how you look at it. On one hand I am broke, in debt, without my own car, and living with my friends parents. All of that is true, but if you look at it in a different light it does not look so bad. I have a well paying job, I have a car that drives, I have a plan for how I am going to spend my money (very important!) I am fairly close to getting out of debt, and my friend and I are looking at apartments.

I have also been working out more and more. Working out is good for you because you feel good about how you look and feel and it also releases endorphins which makes you feel good. Win win situation! Working out also makes you less prone to getting sick. So to sum that all up working out feels good, makes you look good, and makes you healthy. Win win win situation!
Now if only it was fun….

This part of me

I don’t think I could explain it to someone who never felt it. I went a little while without it, not all that long really, but it felt like a long time.

I was ok without it, it didn’t dominate my thoughts, I just went on with life. I enjoyed other things.

But now I have it back, it feels good, really good. I feel whole again, like I am doing what I should be doing. It kind of seems like an addiction. But why wouldn’t you fill that part of you? Make yourself whole.

I will admit, it hasn’t brought me anything good. Well not that much really. Definitely not enough to outweigh all the bad it has brought me. But like I said, I can’t imagine living without it.

6

6 Aspirin, how many is to many?

Sometimes you just wish you had something to drink.

Watch it, do it.

The pinnacle of mankind?

It could be you…

It doesn’t take a lifetime, just a moment

It doesn’t take a person, just an emotion.

Tired

I am tired of people who like drama just because their lives are boring,

I am tired of shallow stars and tv commercials telling people how to think and live,

I am tired of politics and paperwork,

I am tired of people who let themselves go,

I am tired of always feeling like the world is out to get me,

I am tired of everything.

Nightmares

Nightmare

1. A terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.

Nightmares are not common in children under 5, more common in young children (25% experiencing a nightmare at least once per week), most common in adolescents, and less common in adults (dropping in frequency about one-third from age 25 to 55). (Taken from Wikipedia.)

I had an extremely graphic nightmare last night that left me feeling a little strange when I woke up. But just the same as anything else, a hot shower cured it right away.

Searching

Have you ever wondered about something, and the more you found out about it, the less you wished you knew?

Like if you sat and looked for God, only to find out that He did not exist? Knew it for a fact. Would you rather go back to the way you were before? Remaining blissfully ignorant and wondering if maybe there was a God that loved you and had a plan for you? Or would you rather keep your knowledge, secure in the fact that nothing bad you did would matter?

Sometimes I wish I was still a child, still that innocent; I feel so jaded now. I know the world, I know people. And nothing is as good as you once thought it was.

Senses

I am a person of the senses, mainly touch, sound, and vision. I don’t think I would feel complete without taste or smell but I am not motivated by food and I really cant smell things very well anyway, so those are not top picks for me.

Sight
My vision is better than 20/20 I don’t know how good it is, I maxxed out the charts at the eye doctor. I probably don’t appreciate my sight as much as I should, the only time I really think about it is when I am actually paying attention to something visual.
There was a short movie that I watched while I was really, really tired; the music was really mellow and the colors were really trippy. I felt like I was on drugs or in a dream. I wish I could find that movie again.

Touch
I like feeling a warm pillow on my face, hugging my dog, swimming, playing with my hair, taking hot showers, what can I say, touch is really important to me. I think the biggest thing I would miss if I lost my feeling is being able to feel a hug. That would be really sad.

Hearing
I would say the most important sense to me is my hearing. The louder something is that I am vibing with, the more I feel connected. Which has not done a whole lot for keeping my hearing, but what can I say, everything that is fun is bad for you.

I really enjoy listening to music, I paid for $110 for Sennheiser headphones and then $250 for Astro Gaming headphones.
The Astros are sweet because they are 5.1 but the Sennheisers are definitely more comfortable.

My favorite band right now is Tool.
Sober, Vicarious, and Lateralus are the three best songs in my opinion.

Lateralus is cool because it is heavily based on the Fibonacci sequence, where a number is the sum of the two numbers before it. 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13…

This movie explains it really well.

Below is probably my favorite part of the song.

I’m reaching up and reaching out. I’m reaching for the random or what ever will
bewilder me.
what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one’s been.
We’ll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one’s been.